A memory of equilibrium

I want to remember the first photograph. Not the first photograph ever, but the first photograph I ever made that made me feel like a photographer.

One of the most challenging parts of my job as a teacher is to convince people to give up some of the self-emphasis and let the process evolve organically, intuitively, from a place beyond themselves. Sometimes the tools require so much practice and instruction that intuition—even the memory of intuition—becomes buried. It takes a long time to get comfortable with all these buttons. But that's the target for me: to return to finger-painting. That's when I suggest setting the camera on full-auto and going to a party or taking a walk.

Maybe you remember riding a bicycle. The first time? Very scary. So off balance. If you don't have access to this memory personally, go to the park this spring and watch moms and dads getting their four-year-olds on two-wheelers. My point is, the equilibrium is learned. Keep practicing. Remember the way it finally came together when you took your eyes off the front wheel and focused beyond the bike itself?



Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this experience in her TED presentation. I love her description of the genius outside. Her logic about the irrational pull of the creative process is brilliant, perceptive, and emotional. My morning is resonating.

I like roller coasters because they remind me to give it up. Strapped in, terrified, expectant, I can let myself be small, knowing that I'm only along for the ride.

Keep taking photographs, just keep the camera with you, keep paying attention. You will get the balance back when you can finally push through the technology, when the buttons become invisible. That'll take time and practice and a willingness to just keep going. As Gilbert says, to just keep showing up.

(I'm grateful to Rob Haggart for mentioning Gilbert's talk in his blog APL, because I don't check in with TED often enough. If you're not familiar with TED, fire your imagination with a dip into their performance-lectures: it's an amazing mind-stoke.)

This roller coaster picture was taken at Six Flags in New Jersey last spring on a cold cloudy day.